On Being Green

I’m on furlough.  And stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but:

“Unemployment.  It’s just like vacation, only unpaid.”

Thanks, I’ll be here all week.  Unpaid.

We went to the zoo yesterday.  It was fantastic.  My new favorite animal is the male gibbon.   That critter was swinging all over the place, obviously putting on a show for us.  And I could watch the giraffes and lions for hours.  I find them to be extremely beautiful, impressive animals.  And some of the birds… wow.  Just wow.

We had the place to ourselves.  It was empty.  Early on in our visit, I saw multiple signs advertising the zoo becoming more “green”, whether it be a reduction in energy used, or urging patrons to recycle their garbage, or what-not.

And then we hopped on the tram/shuttle.  It was just sitting there, idling, empty.  Toby wanted to ride, so we did.  We sat up front, where I could smell the exhaust of the engine.  We rode it until the first stop, then we got off and hit up an exhibit or 2.  When we exited the exhibit, the tram was still there, idling.

I remarked how foolish it was to run the tram on a day in which no one was there, that it wasn’t cost-effective (the accountant in me), and that an empty and idling gas-powered vehicle sure seemed to fly in the face of their “green” awareness (the critic in me).

Robyn, the vegetarian who drives a Corolla, deadpanned: “What do you care?  You’re the least ‘green’ person I know.”

Touche.  I take long, hot showers.  I drive a 4WD truck with a big V8 in it.  I consume copious amounts of beef.  At least I married a vegetarian with a smaller carbon footprint than mine.

Phall Photos (Fall Fotos?)

(I started this post over a week ago.  Oh well.  Life really has a way of messing up my personal internet time.)

We obtained pumpkins, carved pumpkins, lit pumpkins, made and consumed pumpkin rolls… We created Halloween costumes, continued our hamburger trick or treat tradition (and have quite a few leftover burgers in the fridge), and hung out with our neighbors… We made cookies and ate them and were happy about it… And of course we took pictures to document said events.  And now, you’re gonna look at them.  Don’t even try to escape or look away.  Here they come… BAM, right in the nose…

Saturday mornings are for donuts and cookies at St. Lawrence Bakery, coffee, tea, and familytime.  Aimee is made happy by cookies.  She’s really a lot like her mommy in that regard.  She’s kind of like a little Cookie Monster.

When I was sick, I told Robyn I wanted homemade chocolate chip cookies.  When I got healthy, Robyn made them.  Aimee watched, and was happy.  She’s kind of like a little Cookie Monster.  (Is there an echo in here?)

Getting Aimee to stick her hand into pumpkin guts was no problem.  Tobe hesitated a little more. (I used to hate that part, too.) But both of them sure seemed willing to grab the knife and stab the living crap out of the fruit.

I carved the big ones.  Toby helped, kinda sorta.  Robyn carved the little ones. Aimee aggressively stabbed the little ones.

Thomas the Pumpkin Engine, Sir Pumpkin Hatt, and 2 of their smaller-and-more-traditional friends.

Sir Daddy Hatt manned the grill for our third annual Feed The ‘Hood Trick Or Treat Extravaganza.

Uncle Michael dressed up as himself from 40 (?) years ago.  Believe it or not, that’s not his real hair.  Believe it or not, those are his clothes, which he still fits in.  I don’t fit in clothes purchases 6 months ago, so I might be jealous.

These are my Cookie Monsters.  I love them.  So much.

Struggling With The Concept Of Time

Toby is smart.  CRAZY smart, for a not-yet-4-year-old.  Like blow my mind smart.  That said, he struggles with the concept of time.

As evidence, I give you tonight’s bedtime conversation:

Daddy (praying): …thank You, God, for loving Toby.  Help Mommy & Daddy love You better so that Toby will love You, too.  Amen.
Toby: Daddy, can God do magic, like Abby Cadabby?
Daddy: God can do whatever He wants, buddy.  Anything.
Toby: Could God turn my ceiling fan into a star?
Daddy: If God wanted to, yes, He could.  You know what?  Almost 4 years ago, God decided to do something very exciting.  He made Toby and gave you to me and Mommy…
Toby (interupting): Yes, and eighty days ago God made our house…
Daddy: Well…
Toby (excitedly continuing): …and ninety days ago, God made the dinosaurs, and…
Daddy: Goodnight buddy, I love you.
Toby: I love you too, Daddy.

The moral of the story is, of course, less sugar before bedtime.  And maybe some sort of time education.  I’ll give him one thing, for sure, though– the kid speaks with confidence.  Daddy could take a lesson from him regarding boldness.

Scripture + Dr. Seuss

I’ve been listening to a live worship CD a lot lately.  It was a freebie, and I figured I’d give it a listen, as I’ve been wanting to find some fresh songs (or at least some fresh takes on old songs).  Sometimes, the artist who records a good song makes me not like what is a very good song.  I need to be able to get past the performance and into the heart of the song…

Rambling.  Sorry.  Point is, I’ve re-discovered a few songs that I’ve decided I now like.

One of the things this group does is read appropriate/related scriptures in between songs.  I like that.  The songs might be based upon scripture, but scripture IS scripture.  Well, my mind was wandering a bit, and this is what I heard in my brain while driving home from work last night (beginning in Revelation 4):

Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. Before the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. They looked and they saw him step in on the mat. They looked and they saw him – the Cat in the Hat.

This was when I knew I needed a vacation.  Or at least a break from children’s books.

Things I Learned While Suffering From Swine Flu

I’m back amongst the living. Mostly. I shall return to work in the morning. These are a few of the important things I learned while swine flu kicked my butt:

• George Carlin is the best narrator to ever grace the island of Sodor.  Ringo Starr is next best… not bad at all, only second-best because Carlin was just plain awesome at it.  Alec Baldwin is third-best, and that’s not an indictment of him as much as it is a statement of just how good Carlin and Ringo were.

  (The worst?  Pierce Brosnan, by far.  Just bad.)

• Roger Miller is the best guest host the Muppet Show ever had.  Just a perfect fit- he’s self-deprecating and wacky enough to do it just right.

  (Worst?  A tie.  Roy Rogers and Candice Bergen.  Rogers because he just couldn’t make it feel right.  Bergen because she’s Candice Bergen.)

• One could do a whole lot worse than having such limited dietary options such as chicken soup and Gatorade.  Not a horrible way to live.
• Everyone in the house suffers when I’m sick.  The kids have to put up with a grumpy, fast-tempered Daddy.  The dog has to deal with an angry man who is quick to take out his anger upon the poor pooch.  But most of all, my amazing wife… sheesh… I hereby nominate her for sainthood, immediately, for putting up with me this week.  I’m a horrible person when I’m sick.
• I got incredibly bored with the internet.  Check Gmail, check the forum, check twitter, check RSS reader, repeat.  And repeat.  And repeat.  Mark it down… October 2009… the month I got bored with the net.
• I’m caught up on this season of The Office.  Wow.  What a fantastic, awkward, hilarious show.  I (heart) Jim and Pam.
• This city has a couple decent football teams.
• I still have the ability to sleep for a ridiculous number of hours.  I just need the flu to help me accomplish such record-breaking amounts of sleep.
• Something I already knew, but was reinforced in a major way… when I’m sick, I want to be completely left alone by everyone and everything, except Robyn.  I don’t want emails, I don’t want phone calls, I don’t want my kids… just my wife.  If you called and I seemed short, please don’t be offended.  You just aren’t my wife, and therefore, I didn’t really want to talk to you

They’re 2, They’re 4, They’re 6, They’re 8…

Please keep in mind that I’m a self-proclaimed BRUTAL artist…

Thomas the Pumpkin Engine and Sir Pumpkin Hatt

Sunday Afternoon Swine Flu And General Life Update

I’m finally starting to feel better.  My symptoms are no longer “flu-like”, but some very nasty cold symptoms remain.  Cough, sore throat, congestion… can I go to work tomorrow?  Unsure.  I think I’ll call my boss later to gauge if he wants me in or if he’d like me to stay away another day.
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How about those UC football Bearcats?!  Obviously, undefeated, ranked top 5 in the nation, they have to be thinking about that undefeated regular season and a BCS bowl game.  But UConn, WV, and Pitt are not pushovers.  One game at a time, fellas, and see where the BCS computers send you.
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I am on record as saying the Bengals lose by 2 scores today.  It’s not that I’m a pessimist, just that this team is worn down in the trenches, and I don’t see how victories against decent NFL teams are going to happen.  The O-line desperately needs their (fat) top draft pick.  The D-line is just decimated with injuries.  And with a loss, I’ll go ahead and predict that the bandwagon will start to unload…
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Our annual pumpkin carving happened earlier this afternoon.  While I don’t think anything will ever compare to the pure (creepy?) awesomeness of the 2005 Toby In Utero jack o’ lanterns, I’m pleased with my 2009 efforts.  Pictures to come, likely this evening when there is no more football or baseball left to watch. (Let’s go Angels!)

Robyn’s Weddingstuff

Robyn has this splendid career idea for our family: “Wedding In a Box”.  She gets to be the wedding coordinator, the photographer, and the cake maker.  I get to be the minister, the pianist/guitarist/singer, and the DJ at the reception.  Awesome.
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So, I posted a few weeks back about my co-worker who was getting married.  To recap, co-worker was planning on making her own wedding cake, had never made a cake before (let alone a wedding cake), was 11 days away from the wedding, Robyn offered to help, and it was scheduled that they’d make the cake together 2 days prior to the wedding.

To continue the story, my c0-worker followed me home the following Friday after work.  I distracted the kids for a couple hours while they made the cake.  Obviously, a lot of conversation can happen when 2 women share a kitchen for a couple hours… much of the discussion was wedding-related, for obvious reasons.

One of the things that came up was the fact that she had no wedding photographer.  After the cakes were loaded into my co-worker’s car, as goodbye and good luck and other useful sayings were being said, Robyn offered to be the wedding photographer.

So, for someone Robyn had never before met, she was the wedding photographer and the wedding cake maker, for free.  Color me impressed.
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This week, she had another wedding cake to do.  This one has been in the backlog for about a year, now. (And now that it’s over, that takes the backlog down to… zero.  So you hataz who don’t like cakes taking up valuable blog space, you may now rejoice.)

Robyn wanted a fall wedding. (I didn’t want to wait that long )  Now, she has made a fall wedding cake.

She made the leaves with marshmellow, sugar, food dye… heck, I don’t have a clue.  I just know it made her hands weird colors for days.

Unless you’ve ever lived in a house where an enormous wedding cake has been made, you have no idea the sacrifices that must be made.  Especially with regard to the fridge.  Seriously, people, I’m trying to get over swine flu… there’s no room in the fridge for my chicken soup and Gatorade!

Today, she put it all together.  This is what receptiongoers will see when they arrive…

Recent Miscellaneous Happenings

More photo goodness.  Goodnesses?

Before the weather turned colder, we had frequent milkshake nights. Tobe very much enjoyed, and also managed to get significant quantities of milkshake all over various parts of his face. I managed to consume my share of milkshakes in a much more sanitary manner.

We make pizzas pretty frequently. And, of course, when I say “we”, I mean “Robyn”. She makes a killer veggie pizza. Apparently, our oven needed to be cleaned. There was no fire, but the smoke was rather impressive.

Going to a wedding used to mean me being a groomsman or a musician. Going to a wedding now typically means Robyn made a cake. Regardless, weddings are a great excuse to dress up and have a good time. I need more excuses to get dressed up with my wife, that’s for sure.

Of course, it’s also possible that going to a wedding means “I got to play with a fisheye lens on a camera I can’t afford.” It’s good to be friends with the photographer.

Aimee is a disgusting baby. We love her anyway.

Here she is identifying animals with her mommy. She woofs for doggies (including Pacer), she moos for cows, she quacks for ducks, she buck-buck-bucks for chickens, and I think she kinda meows for cats.

Have I ever mentioned that she loves her doggy? Well, she does. A lot, actually.

Toby’s friend Brian had his birthday party at Club MMA. Toby went and (1) got his butt kicked by smaller children and (2) provided comic relief for all of us. He just doesn’t know how to be aggressive. I guess I’m gonna have to teach him how to be a big, tough, mean man, huh? (Crickets chirping.) Ok, any tough guys out there wanna teach him how to be aggressive? Like father, like son? Unsure…

Thousands of trips to the zoo have happened. I can’t imagine a better use of my parents’ discretionary income than a renewal of our family pass with free parking and unlimited rides. (Hint, hint… Christmas is coming… cough cough…. hint, hint, zoo passes…)

We went to Gorman Heritage Farm for their annual Sunflower Festival.  Gorman is a real, working farm, smack dab in the middle of rural Evendale.  (What?! You don’t think Evendale is rural?  Ok, neither do I…) A few years back, I bought us a family membership, thinking it would be a cool place for Robyn to take Toby.  Maybe it’s time to renew?

The Difference Two Years Makes

These 2 pictures were taken 22 months apart.

I had a complete breakdown last weekend, thinking about how fast my boy is growing up.  It won’t be too long before he’ll refuse to sit on the alligator for a picture.

(Brandon, and anyone else who is a first-time parent are about to be a first-time parent- Everyone told me how fast it would go.  I nodded and smiled… yeah yeah yeah, I know, I know… Cherish every moment.  Be like Jim & Pam at Niagara Falls, pardon The Office reference, and take lots of mental pictures.  Time absolutely freaking flies.)