“Parting is such sweet sorrow.” Leaving is hard, but there’s a silver lining: the sweet part is thinking about when you’ll meet again. But there is no tomorrow here. I’m leaving. This parting is just hard.
Because:
(1) I’m going to miss a lot of these people.
- Some of them, I liked right off the bat. Some of them, it took some time before I realized how much I liked them. (And some of them, I won’t miss, but that’s another story altogether 🙂 ) Leaving is hard because I’m leaving some friends behind. And as much as people say “we’ll keep in touch”, the truth is that this is goodbye for the majority of people here. Maybe I’ll see them at a grocery store or a restaurant someday, but it’s pretty much goodbye.
(2) The unknown is a hard place to go.
- This place filed for bankruptcy. The economy was in the tank. People were getting laid off. But even amidst much uncertainty, at least I knew this place. At least I knew how to do my job. There was something known within the chaos. Going someplace new, regardless of how wonderful it may appear, means starting over. And that’s bittersweet, to me.
Just trying to get through the day. I have a full day’s work ahead of me. My normal Monday accounting duties, the weekly stuff. It has to get done, just like it needed to get done on every other Monday since 2003*.
Only today, instead of all those other Mondays, I’m making sure my co-workers are able to complete these tasks. Here’s the hand off. And instead of taking my time with a cup of coffee, I’ve already downed my 4th shot of espresso, because I’m on edge, and because I need something to calm me down**, and because I’m losing my mind.
And sometime late this afternoon and/or early this evening, I’ll shut ‘er down one last time, carry my faithful office plant to my truck, go home, and try to ready myself for 8:00am tomorrow at the new place.
Ok, time to get to work. There’s stuff to do.
I think I’ll go grab a cup of coffee first.
(*You know, 2003, back when JFK was president, when The Doors topped the Billboard charts, when It’s a Wonderful Life reigned at the box office. Simpler times.)
(**Caffeine is a sedative, right? RIGHT?! No? Well then… crap…)
I know today was tough and emotional. I get a little misty just thinking of all you were going through. Tomorrow will be tough as well, getting to know new people and tasks. Dad and I love you very much and we know you’ll be fine as soon as you get a little time under your belt. (Oh, that’s right–we have your belt–and pants–here . . .)
Take it easy on the caffeine and have a great first day. We’ll be thinking of you!
How embarrasing. I left my pants at my parents’ house…
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